Why Are These People So Orange?

So the Oscars... some thoughts... besides the obvious... which is BOR-RING:

When watching the Oscars it is very important to have your remote handy for one reason: Mute. Trust me on this one.

For starters, is it my TV or is everybody at the Oscars really fucking orange? Wait! That Little Miss Sunshine girl is white as a sheet so it is these people. Who in the makeup department did that to Leonardo Dicaprio?

The commercials during the Oscars are worse than the show itself... that one with Callisaurus Rex from Grey's Anatomy was just... zzzzzzz. I mean, she's a pretty hot chick, why wasn't she in the shower with the new Dove shower gel? No, instead, she's introducing the commercial that some random person made... it's like I made the commercial.

HOLY SHIT! What is with Jack Nicholson... he's all BALD and shit.

Ugh, why do they let Cameron Diaz on these shows? I wouldn't mind so much if she was dancing in her underwear but I kinda hate listening to her speak. And I'm not even sure she could get away with the dancing in her underwear thing anymore... girl is looking worn out. Wait, I just realized... first Britney. Now Cameron. It's the Timberlake doing this! Damn you, Timberlake!

Oh the banter. Horrible. Tom Hanks... what's the last movie he was in?

Some dude is complaining about there being no place to set down the OSCAR he just won. They should immediately take it away from him and bludgeon him with it.

OH, it's my favorite commercial! The American Express one with Wes Anderson!!! I totally have a crush on Wes Anderson. Make another movie soon, Wes! And don't forget to put Bill Murray in it, please!

Bleck, it's followed by an ode to Oprah... mood ruined.

Anne Hathaway seems to have ran into a bird on the red carpet. What is that on the front of her dress? It's looks like a furry bow. No, I'm going with bird. OOOH! Go Marie Antoinette!! Awesome! Less awesome is what the costume designer is wearing...

GAG... mute! I have no interest in any words that come out of Tom Crazy's mouth... unless they are "I am crazy and I brainwashed Katie." OMG... is he sucking on that woman's ear?

Double Ha! Ellen just dissed Beyonce to talk to Clint. Nobody loves Beyonce.

Hmmm... Gwyneth's dress... I can't decide on it. I like it but feel that her boobs are ruining it. She needs to perk those up with a good bra or something and the dress would totally achieve hotness.

OK, every time someone gets orchestraed off stage, I could swear they're playing a lullaby.

God damn, that Kfed commercial is not half bad. Way to go Britney. Your antics have made this guy look not half bad. Yes, I blame you for this, you skank. And I expect an apology when you get to that step. Or should I say, if you get to that step.

MMMMMM... Robert Downey, Jr is still hot. And Naomi Watts is so totally pregnant. There is no denying it now, honey. But she's totally adorable with her bump.

More hot people... Clive Owen & Cate Blanchett. Cate is all sparkly. Clive is yummy in all black. Oh btw... if you hadn't noticed, I'm not actually going to tell you who's winning unless I care if they won. And I don't care about 96% of these awards.

It's Clooney Grant... I'm a little over him and his need to be the new Cary Grant. Good god... mute. That American Idol chick just won. And she's cryer...

Windows Vista commercial. My take? WOW! This operating system sucks! WOW! (I'm still feeling bitter about nine failed Firefox installs... it's probably a user error but it's a lot more fun to blame microsoft)

Jerry Seinfeld has a lot of money and use to be on a really funny show. Other than that... why is he on the Oscars? Will somebody please tell me why Nicholson has no hair?? An Inconvenient Truth just won. Guess they didn't pray enough at Jesus Camp. Also, I'd like to thank Al Gore for inventing the interweb so that I could be blogging & watching the Oscars at the same time.

Clint Eastwood has a huge smirk on his face, it's like he already knows he's gonna beat Scorsese again. Oh... mute. I don't know what he is blathering on about but Eastwood is old and boring.

And keeping with the mute as none other than Celine Dion is on my TV. I thought we sent her to Vegas permanantly... I'm not sure what is going on with her dress but the panels on the bodice are not as flattering as I think they are meant to be.

OK, maybe I should have been listening because now I'm confused as to why the chick from The Office is in the family balcony of this dude who Eastwood just gave a this award to. Not Pam but the one Jim is dating. In real life she is the daughter of Quincy Jones & Norma from Twin Peaks. Anywho - Quincy and her are sitting up there in the balcony with this dude's wife... why? Oh wait... I don't really care.

I am strangely moved by the robot commercial with the song from the opening scene of Bridget Jones' Diary. I do a great impression of that scene.

Howard Stern is so right about Penelope Cruz, you can not understand a word that comes out of her mouth.

Damn, why don't they start this show a little earlier? It's fucking 11:08 and it just keeps going and going. I've got things to do in the morning, OSCAR!

Mute. President of the Academy. One of the 142 things they could cut from this show so that I can get to bed at a decent hour.

Spiderman & Marie Antoinette!! Do you think Drunkst is ever gonna get her chiclet teeth fixed? Damn, Matthew Broderick wouldn't let the Little Miss Sunshine writer write while being his assistant? Harsh.

I just missed the last 15 minutes but I'm pretty sure I didn't miss anything good so let's pretend it never happened. In that time, I did like 26 things. It's called time management... Oscar needs to learn a thing or two about it.

It's the other white Kate. Kate Winslet. Cate & Kate are very pale chicks.

Here comes the death role call... Awww. Bruno Kirby. Awww. Don Knotts. Awww. A bunch of other people who were cool but who's names I am to tired to type.

Best Actress... that's a good sign. A good sign it's almost over. Helen Mirren... we can just skip the rest of the nominees, I think. And..... yes, I am right.

Reese Witherspoon continues her Tour of Look What You Lost Ryan and looks suitibly hot. But the Fug girls are right about that pointy chin of hers. Oh, best actor... Forrest Whitaker for some movie. Or is it really for his guest spot on ER? You never know w/Oscar.

Oh, they brought out Speilberg, Lucas & Coppola for the best director... how f'd up it would be if Scorsese lost again? Especially to Eastwood. And... YEA! He won! For which movie we will never know, but it's about fucking time. And the place goes wild! No seriously, this is the most awake the peeps in this joint have been all night. I'm pretty sure Cate Blanchett was just doing a happy dance!

I'm so delighted when the gorgeous Diane Keaton is not wearing those stupid gloves. Meanwhile, Jack is on stage and I still don't know why he's bald. Oh, The Departed just won.

And it's over! I'm going to bed.

Vanity & The Art of Relaxation

I do not relax or deal with stress well, nor do I sleep well. As a result, I am internally a pretty impatient person. Oh, I put on a good front for all the peeps in my life but really I just don't deal well with other people's BS at all. Or even my BS, which is better described as my utter stupidity in trying to figure out many of life's fucked up situations... but that's another blog post.

If I could master the art of stress control or relaxation, it's possible that many of my sleep problems would be solved, too. I think all my stress comes out while I'm sleeping. And now I am developing an angry face. It seems that all my stress manifests itself into one area on my face and that is the space between my eyebrows. Some people have a unibrow, I have a angrybrow. When I do not wake up looking like this, I wake up looking like I did today:


And that is... PISSED OFF. To be perfectly honest, I was rather pissed off when I woke up this morning (about 10 minutes prior to snapping that picture). I was having quite a lovely dream and did not appreciate it being interrupted by sunlight beaming into my eyes. But that is not the case many days. I mean, I'm almost never overjoyed to wake up but it's not that tragic. So I don't know why my face has to be so angry about it.

So while you'd think that all the massive health risks involved with stress and bad sleeping habits would be reason enough for me to learn a thing or two about relaxing... it's more likely pure vanity that will spur me to action. Because I'm just that silly.

It's a Love/Hate Thing

So you know that new Mac commercial about Windows Vista... yeah, it's just like that. Plus, lots of stuff doesn't work on it. It's awesomely annoying in the way that you want to throw the device it's on out a window (haha... clever). But the pretty pretty laptop is much to pretty and is fun to at least watch movies on. And it's not like I can't use the interweb, even if I am risking downloading computer SARS by using IE because Firefox was all f'd up and so I uninstalled it and when I tried again it refused to install. Or something like that.

Sigh...

the object of my hatred!

More mobile blogging fun

i am trying out the blog by email trick now... and i'm going to take this opportunity to bitch about my cable service. wtf is with channels 11 and 9 being all fucked up tonight? The night when 3rd part of the grey's anatomy "event" (11) & the very last fucking episode of the O.C. (9) are on. i have rebooted the mofo box like 8x already...GRRRR!!!

Why Not Try... some words on my blog

Hey there! Sorry about the obsessive moblogging around here lately... just imagine how horrifying it might have been if blogger had actually published all my pictures instead of only 1/2 of them. It would be like, "All pictures! All the time!"

I thought I might again try writing something on my blog... besides titles anyway. But I needed to be inspired to do so and hadn't been until about 10 minutes ago. That is when I found this hilarious website through another site I read:

Why Not Try?

Some of my favorites:

Helping young people across the road, because they are "our future"

Describing daydreaming as "going to commercial"

Impressing future employers by demonstrating how well you can ride an imaginary horse

Helping yourself to one of the free dogs that people leave outside shops

Inventing and using more compression words as a satire on the English language: e.g sexcellent, tryronic, glamourflage, parannoying, quornography, yawnography, pornothology.

Trying to work out where the imaginary face would be, on various inanimate objects

Yelling "I'm fine, I'm fine" every time you sneeze

Hehehe... exactly what I needed.

how i started my day

how i ended my day

A quick look at what's to come...

Ice Bat chills in his new home

My new couch

Actually, there are two of them...

Is it Friday yet?

alex says hi!

Sinead O'Britney

You see what happens when I'm offline for a couple of days? I miss all the good celebrity news. First Brit Brit checks in and out of rehab in a matter of hours and then she done gone completed her tumble into ruin by going and doing this...


WTF Britney? Seriously, call me honey... I know a great hair guy... he can maybe find you a good wig... because crazy is not a good look on you.

Photo via Go Fug Yourself via Oh Know They Didn't

She's Sleeping. Wrapped in Fluffyness...

My original plan when I was snapping pictures in bed this morning was to see what I might look like when I'm asleep... or fake asleep taking a picture anyway. Then I realized I look like this:


Because when I'm sleeping I'm all wrapped up like Laura Palmer (except not dead or in plastic) in a cocoon of warmth. And while I'm sure I look like something underneath all that, I wasn't sure the lighting was quite right for picture taking. So I quickly changed my plan and decided to see what I look within 30 minutes of waking up.

Among the 20ish pictures I took, I liked the one in the previous post the best. I'm a little sleepy looking, my face is a little splotchy, my hair is all disheveled... all in all, I think it's a reasonable representation of what I see in the mirror fist thing in the morning. Except when I wake up with flock of seagulls hair that is...

There was suppose to be more text with that post but I was moblogging it and hit the wrong button and sent it instead. Hitting the wrong button has been my life for the last 24 hours... yesterday, I bought the Motorola Q and the unlimited broadband access from Verizon so that I can have the interweb at home once again. In it's current state, it's not all that useful but after a little practice and once I get a laptop to go with it, I expect that to change.

Oh yeah, and bonus points for the person who gets the reference of the previous post's title - for british eyes only. You won't actually win anything though so don't try to hard...

for british eyes only...

i decided to play with my new camera phone instead of actually getting out of bed this morning

Home Sweet.... uh, Home?

I have officially diagnosed myself with Decorating ADD.

It's a terrible disease in which many home improvement projects get planned (and some even get started) but not much actually gets done. There's so much to do that I can only focus my attention on one specific thing for so long... thus I end up with a bedroom that's almost primed and a bathroom that has almost been stripped of it's wallpaper and so much more that's just not done. And, this does not just apply to rooms in my house but to my furniture, too. I'm somewhat of an impulse shopper when it comes to used furniture. And most used furniture (at least the Goodwill/Abbie Ann's stuff I buy) comes with more potential than anything else... this couch will be awesome when I slipcover it or this table will be sweet when I refinish it. It's like I think I have nothing but time to do these projects.

Oh, and none of this is helped by the fact that I love so many different decorating styles. This creates a mish-mash of furniture and accessories that I have to somehow make work together.

(sigh) There got to be some sort of pill for all this...

Still, things seem to be getting done even if no one thing is finished yet. I can definitely see the light at the end of the decorating tunnel. I'll just keep chanting my hippie mantra* in the meantime... It will all come together. It will all come together. It will all come together.

And when it does, I'll throw a party.

*yes, i'm crazy

NERVOUS-SYSTEM Jewelry

Have blogged about my love of Etsy yet? I'm not sure that I have... I LOVE LOVE LOVE etsy. There. That's done. Now, let me show you my most recent etsy purchase:

The radiolaria curves bracelet* from NERVOUS-SYSTEM:

A collaboration between a graduate student in architecture and a mathematician.

How could I not buy something with such a cool description?

Black styrene plastic is laser cut into an organic network of distorting ellipses. The pattern displays shifts in direction and scale, creating a sense of movement and tension around the wrist. These complex forms recall those of radiolarians, plant cells and even the familiar honey comb.

They make many other super sweet pieces, too. Like these earrings*:


I found this etsy shop like I often find them... through someone else's blog. The blog in question is Design Milk. Design blogs are awesome, they do all the work and people like me swoop in and buy the cool stuff they find.

*photos courtesy of NERVOUS-SYSTEM

Things I Could Be Doing

• dishes - because I am out of spoons, which is weird because otherwise I only have like 9 dirty dishes

• laundry - i have mounds of clean clothes but am stuck between sizes... insert sad face here

• painting my bedroom - so i can move out of the cold, cold sun room

• my taxes - so i can get some sweet, sweet money back

• yoga - to help fit into the clean pile of jeans waiting for me

• clearing my TVR out - watching TV isn't very productive but it's fun

• reading a book - like one of the five sitting next to my bed with one chapter read in each

• cleaning my garage - before it's even colder tomorrow

• moving some stuff around - so my house is finally livable

• One of the 250 or so things left on my 2007 list - because crossing things off of lists makes me happy

Instead I'm...

• working - because when you're temporarily out of interweb at home you go to the office and you see things there that need done, so sadly, you do them even though it's saturday and it can wait 'til monday

• feeling sad - because of something a friend told me last night that just isn't fair

• feeling embarrassed - needlessly i'm sure but straight vodka or not, i can't believe i did that

• feeling a little more sad - because yesterday was a good friend's birthday and it's been five years since i've hugged him

• delaying - calling another friend who i haven't talked to in two years and have been missing very much lately

• smiling - about something random
  

• thinking - of ways to spend my tax return because i can't stop spending money right now

• listening - to an office mouse (gus-gus, is that you?) get into trouble on the other side of the office

• giggling - because i put the squirrel on top of the tree upside down
  

• dreaming - of a real vacation... someday

• and blogging - because it is the ultimate way to kill time when you don't want to do all the other things you could be doing

Now I'm gonna...

go home and do something else.